SUCCESSES & FAILURES (1996 - 2000)

In 1998, I was laid off from CompuServe. I had been there four years, and had no idea what to do. Thankfully, I knew enough to be able to go to a consulting firm and get placed on a project within just a couple weeks. The money was great (this was the start of the IT "boom" period), and for the next few years, I would change companies several times, each more lucrative than the next.

In May 2000, I was let go from an assignment I had only been on for a month. It was a confidence-breaker, and was also the start of some bad times for the industry. It would take me four months to find another job. During that layoff, Avery and I separated and would divorce a year later. That period was easily the most difficult I've ever been through, certainly rivaling anything that happened at St. Michael's. We all went through a lot, and it would take a while to start to get over it.

Part of the healing for me came when I landed a job at American Express doing web development. This was something I had been doing on my own for four years, and loved it. They hired me with very little experience, so I went through pretty intensive on-the-job training. I met a really cool guy named Bryce Dooley, who selflessly mentored me when I needed it, and was always there to back me up if I was struggling. We became good friends through it.

Kelli was now with Dan, and in mid-2000, they decided to move back to Ohio. Kelli and I had always kept in touch, but it had been more distant, not as much "fun". With her back, we started hanging out quite a bit, reuniting with old friends. The year that had started with so much promise ended mostly on a down note. Things would get better though, through a much unexpected turn.

NEW BEGINNINGS (2001 - 2005)

In May 2002, I was laid off from American Express. I had gone there thinking that working for a big company would be more stable than the consulting I had been doing for the last couple years. That ended up not being the case, and in fact, it was at this time that the job market virtually bottomed out. I did start finding some consulting work through Sarcom, doing the technical support that I had gotten away from before. They ended up hiring me full-time in 2003, but I would continue looking for something that suited my interests better.

That May of '02 wasn't all bad, however. In fact, something great happened. Kelli and Dan got married on May 4th. It was a beautiful wedding, a great day altogether. Naturally, it was a little weird to see my little sister getting married, but I was very proud of her. She had a new life ahead of her, and I was learning that living alone didn't have to be so bad. I was enjoying my musical comeback and my time with the kids. The experience I had gained at American Express allowed me to finally start creating some decent web sites, and I created one with a message board and some of my music.

In early December, I checked my board since I hadn't been there in over a month. It was something only my immediate family had ever used, and I didn't think there would be anything of interest. Instead, there was a message from someone named 'peanut'. She complimented my on my music and said she had enjoyed it. I couldn't believe someone from the "outside" had found my site, and was intrigued. So I replied to her e-mail address, found out her name was Tamara, and she was in Raleigh, North Carolina. I thought it was cool to have a pen-pal, and she even ordered my CD.

Over the next several weeks, however, it was clear that this was going to be more than just a pen-pal. We found that we shared the same thoughts, interests, sense of humor.....things started clicking very fast. By the end of January, we were talking about meeting in person, and in early May, it happened. It was, as they say (and as much as I hate clichés), love at first sight. She met my family, even attended Katie's first Communion. My family loved her, and so did Katie and Nick. A few weeks later, I visited her, and met her family and friends. It went just as well, and I think we started to realize that this was going to last. We would spend the rest of the year visiting each other, and in November we decided that she would move up to Columbus so we could be together.

On August 22, 2003 another great thing happened. Kelli and Dan had a baby boy, whom they named Alexander Forrest. We call him "Xander", which is a really cool nickname. I'm finally an uncle, which I am loving. The kids think it's cool that they are cousins, and can't wait to play with him. And he gets to grow up in a great big new house that they built that summer. I'm hoping I can be a good uncle, and will always be ready to babysit whenever needed.

Talk about a turnaround. Having found the woman of my dreams, I entered 2004 knowing great things were to come. My family was anxious for her to get here so they could get to know her better, and I was looking forward to being able to visit her home more often so I could do the same. However, I was still struggling job-wise. I had done a wide variety of work for Sarcom, going to places such as Ashland Chemical, Huntington Bank, and The Limited. The Limited was by far the best of all the jobs they sent me out to. But I was making paltry wages, and it wasn't enough to live on.

In October 2003, I started a part-time job with SafeLite Autoglass. I trained to answer phones and take insurance claims. Brutually boring, but at $10/hour, it paid more than most other places. My initial shift was in evenings, and the days that I worked cut into my time with the kids. I was pretty frustrated, and was constantly looking for a new job. The start at SafeLite coincided with Sarcom sending me to Honda, to do IT work at the big auto/motorcycle plant. It was 45 minutes away, and quite often I would be practically running from the building to rush home so I could change and get to SafeLite in time. I rarely had time to eat dinner, but that didn't bother me. My main concern in getting to work on time was that you could have a total of 9 "occurances" of absences and tardies. If you clocked in even one minute late, that was an occurance. To make it even more stressful, I was driving a 1990 Honda Civic which continuously had problems. Sometime that fall, it started overheating when I was idling, and one day the engine quit on me. I kept restarting it until I could get to my regular auto shop and got it fixed. I don't even remember what fixed it, but that was generally what life was like through the end of that year.

In December, I moved into a bigger apartment closer to the kids and my parents. I hadn't been all that far away before, maybe 15 minutes, but this would make it much easier to see them, and I hoped to get more time with Katie and Nick. Right around that time, my assignment at Honda's main plant ended, but I had done such a good job that Honda wanted to keep me somehow. So they sent me to another plant that was now an hour away from where I lived. I would be working an earlier shift, getting there at 6am, and because of that I felt it made sense for me to change my SafeLite shift so they would coincide with it. So in January 2004, I did just that. What a bad decision that was. My week began Sunday night. I would have to be at SafeLite at midnight, so once the kids were back home, I would try to take a nap before I had to leave. But since I had only been up since 9am, my body wouldn't comply. So I would head out and work my 4-hour shift. I'd get home at 4:15am, change into my Honda uniform (basically a white jumpsuit and steel-toed boots), eat a quick breakfast, and get there by 5:45am. I'd work until 2:30pm, get home close to 3:30pm, try to eat if I really cared, and basically drop dead. I'd get up at 11pm, talk to T (who would be saying 'goodnight' as I said 'good morning') for a couple minutes, and start the whole thing again.

It was nothing short of a brutal nightmare, and without exaggerating, was the worst thing I've been through outside the divorce. I was haggard, I never felt like doing much at all when I wasn't working, and could see no end in sight. A few times, I caught myself falling asleep at the wheel, and would start singing and developing song ideas to stay awake (I had no radio in my car). Quite a few songs ended up being developed later for the "Under My Radar" album.

One Monday morning in January, on the way to work, I noticed a very odd sound coming from the engine. I also noticed that I wasn't getting as much out of the gas pedal anymore. I went to a different shop than usual, one that was close to my parents. I figured if it really was dying, then I could just walk from there. The wait was going to be a couple hours, so I did end up walking. There's nothing like a 2-mile walk in 20-degree weather with 5-pound boots on your feet to really get you going. Or not. Dad chastised me a bit for not calling him, but it really hadn't occured to me. I was so alone in my thoughts so much during that time that I felt like whatever needed done had to be done by me. I always had my loved ones to look after me, but I knew that in order to get completely out of the bad situation, I was the only one that could do it.

When the shop called me, I was told that my 4-cylander engine was running more or less one 1 1/2. They wouldn't know the exact cause until they tore the engine apart, which would have cost $600. Well, despite the fact that I had put new brakes, a blower motor, and other various parts into it, I knew it wasn't even worth that much. So I said no. But I was panicked. I had to get to a job that was 50 miles away, and to another where I was running out of occurances. We called my uncle Butch and fortunately, he had a pickup truck that he wasn't using. We drove over and picked it up, and I got to keep going to work. That was one long, strange day. I had been up since 11pm Sunday and didn't get another wink of sleep until 4pm Tuesday. My misery was complete. A couple weeks later, I still didn't have a car, and really had no idea how I was going to fix that. I was on the phone with my grandma, who mentioned my recent car problems and offered to help me get a new one. She gave me $2000, which blew me away. If you don't have a nice grandma like this, you need one. Not just because of that, but she's also fun to talk to, is a history buff like me, and always treats everyone with respect. She's the coolest person over 70 I know! T happened to be in town that weekend, and we went car shopping. Since her parents own a car lot, she was able to use some expertise to help me, and it was a big improvement over the other one. I ended up getting a 1999 Ford Taurus, and thus, my car problems were solved.

Still, I was reaching the end of my limits with what I had started calling "this two-job crap". I finally got a call from The Limited, who needed me back for another project similar to what I had done before. It was a strange situation where before, I had gone through a temp agency, who went through Sarcom, who went through another consulting firm which actually worked with The Limited. I had essentially been a sub-sub-subcontractor. This time, however, I was in a so-called "long-term" position through Sarcom at Honda, and they wouldn't have let me leave. It took a few weeks of negotiating and false starts before I was able to sign with the temp firm directly. I started in April, and left the two-job crap behind me.

While recovering from that experience, life was pretty calm. T and I kept visiting each other every 4-6 weeks, and she was busy looking for a job up here so she could move. By the end of summer, my time with The Limited was up. By Labor Day weekend, I was officially unemployed again. I was far less panicked than I had been before, but there was a definite sense of urgency. I had been through all the job boards, had my profile and resume everywhere. On Wednesday, Sept 9, I found that I had left one particular profile untouched for nearly two years. I took some time to update it and moved on. The very next day, they sent me a notice saying a company called WebFeat had asked that I contact them. The location wasn't local, but I figured if they had seen where I lived and were still contacting me, it must be worth checking out. I responded, then was quickly contacted by a manager asking me to take a skills test, which was creating a basic javascript form. I did that, sent it back, and waited.

I didn't have to wait long. The next day, she got back in touch and offered me the position. It was a work-from-home position doing web development, and I would make just enough to pay my bills with it. I was ecstatic, and on Monday the 13th was working. It was an amazing turn of events, going from unemployed to working a great job in just four days. It is actually a virtual company, with no real "location". There are about 15 employees, scattered throughout the country. Most of the people I work with are in Seattle, so the 3-hour time difference is interesting. We all got to go to Seattle to meet in October for a bi-annual "retreat". The whole thing has been a very good experience, and I certainly appreciate where I am compared to early 2004.

In December that year, my ex moved the kids to an area outside of Columbus, about 45 minutes away. We had some heated discussions about it, but there wasn't much I could do. As a result, the kids and I saw each other less, which was bad for everyone. But we made our weekend time count as much as we could.

THE BITTER END

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