HELL (1986 - 1990)

I probably didn't have to worry much. They never censored any issue of "Mad" that I ever brought home, and I never missed an issue from that first one up through 1993. In fact, they never made me throw away my Garbage Pail Kids, which were decidedly gross and trashy, with no redeeming value whatsoever. I ended up collecting well over 600 original cards, and still have them all. My mom encouraged my reading as much as my art, and when I started reading Stephen King that year, instead of making me wait, she let me know she had others like it. That first novel, "'Salem's Lot", was terrifying to me, and I loved it. After that, I read "The Stand", which was a lot for a 12 year-old to get into. I didn't understand all of it, but I learned a lot from these early explorations. Interestingly, these books were borrowed from my catholic school library, presumably available for anyone ages six and up to try.

Around this time, school started getting rough. All the other kids were starting to hit puberty just like me, and we were changing. There are more than just two cliques in a particular classroom, but perhaps the only two that truly matter are the "populars" and the "losers". The populars would be the ones on the varsity teams, the cheerleaders, the ones who could.....well, look down upon the losers. The losers were mostly normal kids who simply had different personalities. Most were shy, quiet, too easy to pick on because they weren't sure how to defend themselves (or if they even SHOULD). Somehow, I ended up being a loser.

John and I became friends fairly quickly and started hanging out at each other's homes, having sleepovers. We had other "friends" at first, but a lot of them would end up gravitating towards the popular group in later years. But he got picked on a lot. He was a little overweight, but mean kids have a radar that locks onto any vulnerable being, no matter what other qualities they may possess. I think we liked each other because we were both creative spirits. Things didn't start getting bad for me until 5th grade, when boys would say dirty words and laugh at anyone who didn't know what they meant. Me, I was still fortunate enough to know where my ankles were, so I was easy prey. We had the school bully in our grade, Bobby Bond. I don't think there were any other pure bullies in the entire school, but with Bobby, you had more than enough. He was a greasy, dirty kid, who was only there for a few years. My one fight with him ended with me in a chokehold, gums beginning to bleed. But at least he was an equal-opportunity bully; everyone incurred his wrath.

6th grade ushered in a new understanding of the grownup world. By now, most of us knew all the names for body parts (especially the ones that weren't in the dictionary), and they were used to torment others in various ways. Between taunts in the hallways, classrooms, and gym class, the only real breather would be lunchtime.......and sometimes, not even then. My final two years at the school were pretty brutal. There was much more sophisticated name-calling, and even if you had heard one a hundred times, it still meant something at that age. We went to a week-long camp to prepare for our 8th grade confirmation, during which John broke down one day. I know I did a couple times at school. It's not like every second was bad, but it was constant enough that it changed us. In fact, Kelly (who around this time officially changed the spelling of her name to end in 'i') had such a hard time with it herself that she left the school a year early.

Life at home was an escape, but the whole family went through very difficult times in the mid-80's. Dad moved out for a few months in early 1987, and they went through too many job changes to count. But, fortunately for Kelli and I, we had great parents, who rarely let their grownup troubles filter down to our level. We knew things weren't great, in fact wouldn't know just how bad some of it was until much later, but we rarely complained.

Out of a combined class of 65 or so students, I was the only one that wasn't going to a catholic high school. Instead, mom and found a newspaper article in early 1989 about an alternative high school for arts and sciences called Fort Hayes. I entered their lottery and got picked. By now, my artistic interests had been shaped enough that I could see where I wanted to take it, and that was in commercial art. It was a great school, and I was lucky to have gotten the opportunity. I grew artistically and musically, as I switched from acoustic guitar to electric, then back again. That Freshman year, I met James Drake, who became a great friend during our four years there. He had the goofiest laugh anyone had ever heard, and when he didn't get mad at me for imitating it, I knew we'd get along.

Kelli and I had a fairly typical brother-sister relationship: we fought like crazy. She still contends that I used to chuck TV remotes at her head. I contend that if she hadn't ducked so often, I wouldn't have had to keep trying. We did fight quite a bit, and in this audio clip from Christmas Eve, 1986, you will get a chance to hear one of the most infamous recordings we ever did. Dad wasn't home, mom was there, but left for a while at some point, and chaos ensued. We so love this tape that we quote from it often, and practically have it memorized. Obviously, it's not something any PARENT ever wants to think about their kids treating each other, and I'd advise you to not play this with kids in the room, at least until you know where to turn the volume down. Yes, Kelli had quite a mouth on her, as I've alluded to. She taught me more about cursing than just about anybody, and she was 2 1/2 years younger than me.

GROWING UP FAST (1991 - 1995)

What a difference. I lost 45 pounds, added muscle, and got a tan. When I got to school on the first day of senior year, the compliments and looks from classmates told me I had accomplished something big. During the summer, I had met a girl named Anne, with whom I would have a very tumultuous relationship throughout most of that school year. It was my first "adult" experience, and affected me in every good and bad way I could have imagined. Outside of that, I was in the half-day Commercial Art program at school, getting my portfolio ready so I could go out and learn to be a graphic artist. I was also playing music with John at bars and high school events.

Soon after I was done with Anne......too soon after, I started dating Avery Busic, who I had known since sophomore year. We grew close quickly, and by the time I graduated high school, we were ready to live together. I moved out of my home a mere three days after graduation, into an apartment in Kettering, OH, where I attended the School of Advertising Art. Avery didn't move in right away, but would follow about a month later. Those first few weeks were the most unique I've ever experienced. I actually had no phone for a week, so I went from the safe shelter of the home I had grown up in to being completely alone for the first time, with nobody to talk to.

But then Avery moved in, and we lived together throughout the summer. Her mom pressured her to come back home, and she did. She became pregnant that September. And the course of our lives would be forever altered. She moved back in with me, and we decided to get married. It was about as split-second decision as something like that could come without hitting a Las Vegas chapel at 2am. So on October 23, 1993, three days before I turned 19, I found myself getting married, expecting a baby.

The interesting thing is, when she told me she was pregnant, I was scared......but something clicked inside me that made me want it. From that moment, everything I did was in preparation of being a father, no matter how many unknowns lay ahead. Ultimately, it would mean quitting college and moving us both back to Columbus, as my part-time McDonald's salary wasn't cutting it, and hers wasn't much better. We went to a few temporary firms and thought we had a job and apartment lined up that December. We packed up our cars and prepared to head home one weeknight, expecting to stay with my parents for one night, then get the keys to the new apartment the next day. The night before we left, however, we had a message on our answering machine telling us we didn't have the job. The next morning, when we arrived at Columbus, we discovered we also didn't have the apartment.

Our lives were in our cars, and we had nowhere to go with them. Now, it's time for some insight into who my parents are. They are incredible people, whether they know it or not. When I told my mom about the baby and then about our marriage plans over the phone, I could hear her tense up. That's probably too light a word. She practically swallowed her heart. I remember hearing some sort of exclamation, but she very quickly got herself together and offered support. I could tell both of them were scared for me, but from that point on, they tried as best they could to treat me as an adult. The confidence I gained from their support helped me finish growing up and become a good father myself.

So, in that December of 1993, when we showed up with no place to go, they took us in. They had been planning on moving into my grandmother's old house at some point, but weren't ready yet. Amazingly, they decided to move out quickly and let us stay there. They rearranged their entire lives to help us. It was one of the first times I was able to see on their level what kind of sacrifices were sometimes made for children, or anyone you care about. It was the start of a deeper understanding and respect for them, which has helped us develop great relationships as adults.

We each got part-time work at various places through temp firms, but it was nothing steady. Then I interview for and got a job at CompuServe doing customer service. The pay was an astounding $7.35/hour. Full time, with benefits. We were ecstatic, as it ensured stability for us and the baby.

Kathleen Rosella Barr was born on June 8, 1994. We did a fair job of handling her considering the amount of life experience we had. We wouldn't stay at the house very much longer, and would actually move twice before Nicholas Paul Barr was born on November 26, 1995. It was a tough, premature birth, after which he was in intensive care for a week. But he recovered quickly and in no time we settled into family life. In less than three years, I had gone from a C+ student in high school to married father of two. We had handled the changes well, but there would be more to come.



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