This section may bore some visitors, but then, some people actually enjoy reading things that other people write about themselves. What is it about that? Maybe it's the idea that you're getting glimpses into the more private side of someone that you otherwise wouldn't. Even if you don't know the person, it can still be interesting to view different writing styles, and in some cases can lead you to meet new friends or even start relationships (I should know!). Having said that, I will need to make some effort to not get too detailed in this semi-autobiography, lest it grow to unmanageable size. As always, my sarcasm and humor are present, and I think anyone who knows me will be able to pick out the areas they don't need to take seriously. Of course, as always, you have the power to choose: you can either read this or move on. If you do read this, take a moment to visit the message board and express your thoughts. And we begin........
"Hell" & "Growing Up Fast" (1986-1995)
"Successes & Failures" & "New Beginnings" (1996-2005)
"Kitties, Kids, And A Wedding" (2005-2008)
BEGINNINGS (1974 - 1980)
I was born October 26, 1974 and grew up in a typical suburban neighborhood in the north end of Columbus, Ohio. I had everything I wanted for the first couple years.....attention from everyone, food, drinks, toys.......then came my sister, Kelly. She was born March 23, 1977, and life was forever changed. No longer was I the sole object of everyone's attention, nor did I get everything I wanted. Sometimes they would HOLD her, or FEED her, and I swear to God, once (and I know I was only two at the time, but some of the most horrific repressed memories have a way of making comebacks given the right circumstances) I saw them PLAYING with her. They played. With her. Not me. Needless to say, this was the spark that ignited the flame of fury that would be present in my relationship with my parents for many years.......until the BITTER, BITTER END.
I think it was evident fairly early on how different Kelly and I were from each other. Legend has it that I was born wide-eyed and curious, while she came into the world screaming. That pretty much says it all. Not that I was perfectly good, of course, but I was quieter, and a bit more devilish when I did bad things. Kelly's tantrums earned her the nickname "Sarah Burnheart", and even today it still fits. But in the early days, there probably wasn't a whole lot of serious troublemaking going on. My very earliest memory is of a Father's Day when I was three or four. I woke up very early with the intention of making daddy breakfast in bed. I can't remember exactly what I tried to do, but it involved a pot, a stove, and fire. Enough smoke filled the house that my parents woke up and I got quite a spanking for it. But I think I made up for it in subsequent years, making the nice cards and "supervised" meals.
How were my days spent during these fast-developing years? There are few memories, but many pictures. We had a great climbing tree in our backyard that provided more than enough leaves to play in each autumn. I started reading when I was two, and I think even then I preferred having quiet time instead of chaos. So I read a lot, watched Sesame Street, Mister Rogers, and the gang. These programs present themselves in such a way that you think it's all fun and games. Sure, it's fun. Yes, there are games. But what these programs are really doing are trying to prepare you for something that few are ever really ready for, something that encompasses our lives for many years........SCHOOL.
FROM MIGHTY MOUSE TO SUPERBUG (1981 - 1985)
Everyone has their own special memories of Saturday and Sunday mornings. They were certainly more special back when I was a kid (great, now I really sound old). We didn't have cartoons on 24/7. When we sat down to the TV with our overflowing bowls of cereal, we knew it was the only chance we'd get to see these cartoons for a whole week! My favorite for a long time was Mighty Mouse, but I also loved The Smurfs, Muppet Babies, Gummi Bears, and of course Looney Tunes. Our kids will have memories of different cartoons.....of course, they'll remember each episode word for word, since the cable networks play them over and over every single day. It's brutal, and I'd cancel my cable if I wasn't so dependant on ESPN these days.
School was good to me during these years, and I was good back. I went to Cradle 'N' Crayon for kindergarten, and will always remember my favorite teacher, Sue. Sometime during the year, they discovered how bright I was, and put me and another kid in a higher-learning program so we could get away from the mind-shrinking activities that the poor, ignorant slugs that were so beneath us were being challenged by. My biggest memory of that year was graduation, when we sang "The Rainbow Connection". It's always been one of my favorite songs. Another memory is of a group of us kids sitting in a circle with a teacher holding Kelly on her lap. We were all waiting for our parents to pick us up, and if memory serves, it was a rough, wintry day, and many of them were running late. We were trying to help Kelly says her Y's by repeating 'yellow' over and over. I can't remember if she succeeded that day, but it marked my brain something fierce.
I went to Salem School, a Columbus Public School, for 1st and 2nd grades. It was in our neighborhood, which coincidentally was called Salem Village. I was always on the achievement honor roll, and in 2nd grade was able to be segregated from the other kids and study materials from higher grades. Yes, I was a smart one, but some basic things had eluded me. For instance, one time a friend and I wouldn't stop talking, so we had to stay after class. Mrs. Decker, my 2nd grade teacher, told me to bend down and grab my ankles.
I put my hands above my knees.
She repeated the order, and I moved my hands down to just below my knees.
This vile, child-beating creature actually had to place my hands on my ankles because I did not know what my ankles were. And I was eight. I think I probably deserved a spanking just for that display of ignorance alone. Of course, no teacher could do that to a kid now without spending 20 years in prison.
For Christmas 1982, we got an Atari 2600. This was like the holy grail of toys. Everyone had one. Everyone wanted one. We got started off with three games, Pac-Man, Combat, and Haunted House. I would end up becoming a video game addict, able to beat any new games within just a couple weeks. I remember clearing the board on Pac-Man, which meant you had gone over 100,000 points. I think it must have taken at least two hours. I remember the blisters from that and many other playing sessions.......the hot, burning BLISTERS!!!!! Our Atari also unleashed the competitive side of me, which had been dormant through my first eight years. I remember the very first time I cursed loudly at a game, it was still only 1983, and I was playing Breakout. Over the next eight or so years, I would develop a mouth and temper on me that nobody could control. I would scream, cuss, hit things, turn purple......all because Samus Aran got blown up by a spiky blob of mint toothpaste.
Back then, Columbus was doing the "bussing" system, where after your first few years at your neighborhood school, they would randomly send you to another one until you were ready for high school. At least, I think that's how it worked. I was always vague about the details, it certainly never made sense to me. The bottom line was that my parents were afraid of us having to go to school in a bad part of town, or a far away part of town. So in 1983, they enrolled us both in St. Michael's, a catholic school.
Boy, would this change our lives. Before that year, we had been going there for catholic education classes, or C.C.D. Mom and dad had joined the church, and gotten re-married in the church.......we were just so damn churchy, it was great! So, even though they didn't have a whole lot of money, they paid the fees (....or DID they?) in order to make sure we were safe and well-educated.
Other than wearing uniforms, it wasn't too much different from where I had been. I spent the next few years doing okay with grades and generally staying out of trouble. Early on, I met John Biggs, who would become a life-long friend and some other people who would be somewhat friendly. Unfortunately, there wouldn't be a lot of friends made there, as later years would prove.
In the meantime, I had developed an artistic ability that my mom nurtured and supported until.......well, she still does (at least, until the BITTER END). I even did a comic book called "SuperBug", which would be the first of many. There is a whole 'nother parallel universe regarding all that stuff, and you can find out more here. My mom also got me my first diary, which would start a 10-year span of interesting writing (well, once I stopped recording how many times I had shaved, or when the next "Mad" magazine was coming). I had a bunch of interests and a few hobbies. Now I just had to grow up a little so I could understand them.
Next : "Hell" & "Growing Up Fast"
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